SPLIT

I'm always two people, the coward and the brave

I'm always fragmented between master and slave

I'm fearless like a lioness, yes frightened like a kitten

I pounce too soon; too many times have been bitten

My soul is a canvas of colors and dirt

With shades upon shades of beauty and hurt

I want to be peaceful and want to be wild

An adult perfection, an imperfect child

Between love and fear is a constant tug-of-war

Both breath and tears always compete for more

Deeper than angels have dared to explore

There is no control, there's only a thought

Of cutting the rop, untying the knot

No longer slipt. Changing the plot. 

HUNGER

 

I miss, I just do

Not sure if I miss you or something else

I hear, I just do

The stillness in my inner bells

 

I don’t want it, but it’s there

The desire to stretch my arms

And reach far elsewhere

For the presence that calms

 

The tingle in my skin

The inkling in my soul

The longing from within

 

Where are you? My phantom

My missing puzzle piece

When will this hunger cease?  

Broken Car

 

It’s just a broken car, not a broken heart

I’m stranded on the street, I’m taking it real hard

It’s money I don’t have, it’s time I can’t get back

It’s a constant reminder of all the things I lack

 

I’m angry and confused. I’m trying to deny

I see it can’t keep moving but still I want to try

I laugh like it’s a joke. I cry because I fear

That maybe there’s no hope. There’s things I just can’t steer

 

It needs some time to fix

There are no easy tricks

It’s just stones and sticks

 

They won’t tear me apart

It’s just a broken car

…And a broken heart

BRAVE

I may have felt so small in a stage of constant fear

I may have yelled for help in a place no one would hear

I may have been abandoned by the ones I learned to trust

I may have been rejected and then left to bite the dust

 

I may feel like a child who cannot protect herself

I may have begged for comfort in detriment to my own health

I see that though I searched the world for a perfect safe cave

I didn’t look inside my soul and grasped that I am brave

 

I have the strength within me to weather any storm

I have the love inside me to gently keep me warm

I am surrounded by true hope since the day that I was born

 

I need not fear that I am incomplete

I need not tremble on my knees and feet

I am all I need to dance life’s uncertain beat

Orfã

 Hoje acordei órfã 

Sem mãe nem pai 

Sem lar sem par 

Sem centro ou fim 

Apenas eu 

 

Tentei lembrar-me de mais

De amor e paz

De colo e aconchego

Beijo na testa

Bolo na festa

Mas foi ineficaz

 

Lembrei-me de sombras

Mentiras e fantasias

Fuga e choro

Indiferença

Invisibilidade

Existência

Uma memória cinza

Sem cor

Com pouco amor

 

Lembrei-me de moradias

Casas, calçadas e beliches

Água gelada, fetiches

Seres doentes na mente

Medo constante e eminente

Um jogo de sobrevivência

Uma efêmera existência

Um buraco escuro no fundo do baú

 

Uns vivem nas memorias

De dias alegres Inocentes

Torrada e presentes

Calor e cuidado

Sono sossegado

Comida e carinho

De ter um ninho

De mãe e pai

beijo de boa noite

 

Eu vasculho meu universo

Por tuneis empoeirados

Lugares mal amados

Buscando os armários

Onde me escondia

No universo paralelo

De tudo que é singelo

Que outros enxergam como banal

Como apenas um dia

 

Ser órfã é um estado

Algo físico e pesado

Mesmo rodeada de entes

Continuo ausente

 O que não foi nunca será

Mas o que é sou eu

Mesmo invisível, existo

E persisto

 

Eu lembro-me de mim

Meus pensamentos

Meus anseios

Minhas verdades

Nenhuma maldade

Pois como posso errar

Se ninguém pôde me ensinar?

 

Eu respiro vida, não memorias.

Respiro hoje, não ontem.

Amanha é mágico, novas histórias ...

Talvez não desapontem.

I do protest

Maybe I forgot how to write

Or my pen has run out of ink

My thoughts run amok as they think

About all the things that ain’t right

 

Maybe my life is a joke

I revel in my nightmares

To dream I do not dare

Maybe it’s time I awoke

 

I look at the sun

It makes me undone

I’m too stunned to run

 

I just need real rest

But I do protest

Of a pain in my chest

2020 MADNESS

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I woke up one day from a dream in a dream.

Strange did it seem, but life just went on.

I slept and I stepped tripping over nothing.

They said it was real, my day carried on.

I swam on the ground. I ran in the oean.

Strange words were spoken, I don't understand.

Silense means noise. Destruction means peace.

Echos repeating: It's part of the plan.

Let me out of this madness.

It's to white for me to see.

It's to black and dark for confort.

It is all to strange for me.

Let me out of this hellhole.

There are just too many rules.

All the traps and masks are waiting.

They are calling all the troops.

No one wants to make a truce.

No one cares about the truth.